Our lives are composed of moments. Some moments are milestones and define where we are at that time in our life. Some are smaller and don't seem as significant. Yet, I tend to think it's those tiny events that happen that we almost don't even notice which build into the milestones. A handshake and a kiss on each cheek can be a tiny spark that leads to a fire inside that won't be put out. Even when you thought you didn't put the right kindling and care into the fire, some embers are meant to keep glowing. That's the thing about almost letting the fire go out though, you have to work a bit harder to get it going again.
If you aren't used to feeling that fire, you might be scared of it at first. You might not be prepared for it. Timing is everything.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Saturday, May 21, 2011
In case of rapture...
If I woke up today and life as we know it was ending, I'd want the people I love to know what they mean to me. Our everyday lives tend to get hectic and we forget to tell our nearest and dearest how important they are. We take every day we spend with them for granted. We never think about how we'd feel if we never got the chance to say all the things we feel for them.
A few years ago, I became friends with an amazing group of people who brought me into their little circle of "burs." It was from them that I learned what true friendship is and that family isn't just the people who share your blood. It is because of them that I began to learn how to be a good friend and to accept myself as I am (instead of what I thought I was supposed to be.) I'm still a little rough around the edges, but they take me for who I am without judgement and complete support. They are honest when I need to hear it yet they don't look down on me when I screw up (which has been a lot lately.) I am lucky to have them in my life and certainly do not tell them enough.
When I was a freshman in college, fate sent me my best friend. We were kindred spirits from the start and that is why our friendship has lasted for 10 years now even from 500 miles away. We don't talk everyday and only get to see each other every few months but we pick up right where we left off every single time. Our paths crossed for a reason that summer day at freshman orientation and if I ever needed an example of true serendipity, I would refer to this friendship. We have seen the best and the worst of each other and it only strengthens our bond. There is no doubt in my mind that we will always be apart of each other's lives no matter where life takes us.
As for the family I share my blood with, I have always seemed to be the black sheep. At 28, I have not yet married nor do I have children (as 90% of family members my age do.) I am very independent and free spirited which has caused me to always feel distant from my kin. My personal goals don't seem to match theirs which I am okay with. I have no idea where I got my gypsy soul from because it certainly wasn't from any of them. They most likely think that I don't care but they're wrong. I care very much and am proud of what my family has accomplished as they continue to expand our legacy with families of their own. I am trying to find my own way in life and I hope they understand that. I may not be there all the time, but I'll always be there when it counts. I feel like my parents have finally accepted who I am yet still encourage me to grow into who I want to be. Growing up has had its ups and downs, but my parents seemed to know what they were doing (even when I didn't understand their reasoning.) I am thankful now for those hard lessons I had to learn from them because that is what makes certain life situations easy to take on now. It makes me love and respect them even more.
So there you have it. Those things I think and feel every day but rarely say out loud...in case of rapture.
-ldw
A few years ago, I became friends with an amazing group of people who brought me into their little circle of "burs." It was from them that I learned what true friendship is and that family isn't just the people who share your blood. It is because of them that I began to learn how to be a good friend and to accept myself as I am (instead of what I thought I was supposed to be.) I'm still a little rough around the edges, but they take me for who I am without judgement and complete support. They are honest when I need to hear it yet they don't look down on me when I screw up (which has been a lot lately.) I am lucky to have them in my life and certainly do not tell them enough.
When I was a freshman in college, fate sent me my best friend. We were kindred spirits from the start and that is why our friendship has lasted for 10 years now even from 500 miles away. We don't talk everyday and only get to see each other every few months but we pick up right where we left off every single time. Our paths crossed for a reason that summer day at freshman orientation and if I ever needed an example of true serendipity, I would refer to this friendship. We have seen the best and the worst of each other and it only strengthens our bond. There is no doubt in my mind that we will always be apart of each other's lives no matter where life takes us.
As for the family I share my blood with, I have always seemed to be the black sheep. At 28, I have not yet married nor do I have children (as 90% of family members my age do.) I am very independent and free spirited which has caused me to always feel distant from my kin. My personal goals don't seem to match theirs which I am okay with. I have no idea where I got my gypsy soul from because it certainly wasn't from any of them. They most likely think that I don't care but they're wrong. I care very much and am proud of what my family has accomplished as they continue to expand our legacy with families of their own. I am trying to find my own way in life and I hope they understand that. I may not be there all the time, but I'll always be there when it counts. I feel like my parents have finally accepted who I am yet still encourage me to grow into who I want to be. Growing up has had its ups and downs, but my parents seemed to know what they were doing (even when I didn't understand their reasoning.) I am thankful now for those hard lessons I had to learn from them because that is what makes certain life situations easy to take on now. It makes me love and respect them even more.
So there you have it. Those things I think and feel every day but rarely say out loud...in case of rapture.
-ldw
Saturday, May 7, 2011
penny for my thoughts? or just my two cents...
It's easy to walk away. It's easier to say, "I don't care" [whether you mean it or not.] It's easiest to put on a fake smile and make everyone think you're fine.
It's hard to say, "I'm sorry." It's even harder to admit that you screwed up [big time.] It's hardest to ask for another chance.
How many times have we walked these paths in life? Usually we tend to lose our way. None of us were given a map, so it can be a bit of explore and see, from time to time. Sometimes we don't see clearly down one path...we see what we want to see and not what is really there. I never really understood the quote, "Love is blind." I know that it's supposed to mean that we ignore faults when we care for someone. But, maybe there's more to that. I think sometimes we close our eyes to happiness because we think it's too good to be true. We refuse to see love when it's in front of us because we never expected a happy ending to land in our laps.
So, we screw it up. We run away. We are afraid of that which could make all of our dreams come true. Why? Because as much as we'd like to believe that fairy tales are real...they aren't. The real world is much tougher and nobody gets their ever after without working for it. That's the part the fairy tales lack. Love might be blind but it sure as hell ain't easy. Trusting someone with your heart may be one of the hardest things you'll ever do in life. Because giving into that...I mean, really giving everything inside of you that matters to someone else, is downright scary. Especially if you aren't sure where they stand.
It's easy to make promises. It's harder to keep them. It's easier to to talk about love as if we understand it instead of just admitting how damn crazy it is. It's harder to convince someone that they're the reason you understand love after you screwed them over. The easiest thing to do is to not take any chances & live in a safe little bubble where no one can hurt you. The hardest thing is to let someone love you. Because if you do that, chances are, you'll love them back. And nothing about that is easy. But would you think it was worth it if it was? Probably not.
It's hard to say, "I'm sorry." It's even harder to admit that you screwed up [big time.] It's hardest to ask for another chance.
How many times have we walked these paths in life? Usually we tend to lose our way. None of us were given a map, so it can be a bit of explore and see, from time to time. Sometimes we don't see clearly down one path...we see what we want to see and not what is really there. I never really understood the quote, "Love is blind." I know that it's supposed to mean that we ignore faults when we care for someone. But, maybe there's more to that. I think sometimes we close our eyes to happiness because we think it's too good to be true. We refuse to see love when it's in front of us because we never expected a happy ending to land in our laps.
So, we screw it up. We run away. We are afraid of that which could make all of our dreams come true. Why? Because as much as we'd like to believe that fairy tales are real...they aren't. The real world is much tougher and nobody gets their ever after without working for it. That's the part the fairy tales lack. Love might be blind but it sure as hell ain't easy. Trusting someone with your heart may be one of the hardest things you'll ever do in life. Because giving into that...I mean, really giving everything inside of you that matters to someone else, is downright scary. Especially if you aren't sure where they stand.
It's easy to make promises. It's harder to keep them. It's easier to to talk about love as if we understand it instead of just admitting how damn crazy it is. It's harder to convince someone that they're the reason you understand love after you screwed them over. The easiest thing to do is to not take any chances & live in a safe little bubble where no one can hurt you. The hardest thing is to let someone love you. Because if you do that, chances are, you'll love them back. And nothing about that is easy. But would you think it was worth it if it was? Probably not.
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