There are laws to attraction but do we even follow the rules when it's someone we can't resist? The basic principle is that "like attracts like" and by focusing our thoughts on what, or in this case who, we want, we can achieve the desired result. Well, when it comes to romance, it seems we have to throw science out the window. How many times have we all longed for someone who consumed our thoughts only to end up without the happy ending? Unfortunately with matters of the heart, positive thinking does not always bring a positive outcome. That doesn't stop the hopeful romantics from their daydreaming but perhaps a bit of reality could be useful.
Here's the thing: we generally believe that we are attracted to someone because of who they are. And that's true. However, I think what's more important is that we are attracted to those who like and support who we are. This could be the reason that we end up with more lost causes than wins. Simply being attracted to someone for who they are doesn't provide enough foundation to start building something bigger. It has to be a two way street. If you aren't choosing someone who appreciates you in the same way, no amount of positive affirmations is going to draw that person to you. This is why the concept of opposites attract tends to work out better for most relationships. Those couples are accepting of who the other person is, even if it's a complete 180 from their own persona.
At the end of the day, we are all just looking for someone who gets us. We want a partner who knows all our idiosyncrasies and loves us anyway. We want someone we can show our true selves to without any hestitation or fear of rejection. We want a companion who sees the good and the bad and accepts both equally. We want someone who understands we are a package deal and that even at our worst, we're worth it. Once we find that person, we get to make our own rules. If you're lucky, you'll find someone who is happy to throw out the rule book completely and just go with it. If you find your someone, it'll be just that simple. No rules. Just a couple of happy magnets, stuck together forever.
-ldw
*Thank you Jessica Archer...you were my muse today xoxo
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Birfday shmirfday
Well, where did you come from 30? It seems like only yesterday I was a 20-something trying to figure out what to do with my life. Funny thing is I'm pretty sure I'm still wondering that same thing. The only difference is that I'm content without knowing the answer. In a few days I will be transitioning over from my 20s and entering the world of my 30s. Apparently according to most female magazines and books, this is supposed to be a disaster. I am actually excited about it & do not have a single drop of pessimism about it. Looking back, I can honestly say I do not regret anything up to this point. I have lived a life I can be proud of and have learned lessons that have made me someone I am proud to be. I feel more comfortable and alive in my own skin than I ever have. I have learned to be content which in my case is a huge accomplishment. It doesn't do well to constantly be curious if there's something more out there. It seems to work better once you realize that maybe where you are is exactly where you're supposed to be. I am extremely lucky & grateful to have a life I can be happy with currently.
A former boss of mine had a theory that by the time you're 34 is when life falls into place. She told me the other day that 30 was her favorite year because that's when she figured out where she wanted her life to go. I love that inspiration. I like feeling more knowledgeable than clueless in all of life's areas yet knowing there are still many lessons to be learned. I feel better prepared for situations with friends, work, etc. I find myself being more open which has always been a goal for me. I used to be very closed off & would shy away from things that weren't in my comfort zone. Thankfully, I have chosen very good friends who are supportive and encouraging to stepping outside of that.
Recently, I have started to open up my own little world with new experiences. And new acceptances that my pride used to hinder me from doing. A year ago, I couldn't say that I know how to shoot a gun. A year ago, I couldn't say that I know how to forgive without resent. A year ago, I couldn't say I choose (more often than not) to act responsibly instead of impulsively. A year ago, I was writing angry blogs about boys. A year ago, I was contemplating my next move for the gypsy soul. It's nice to be able to see that I'm growing and learning that "Don't sweat the small stuff" wasn't just some cliche phrase. Because I don't sweat the small stuff anymore. I have somehow figured out how to take the ups and downs of life as they are. To be frank, shit happens. That's never going to change. You have the choice to let it rule your life or to go with it. Life has an ebb and flow that isn't always great. However, I have finally realized that you just need patience sometimes to let the good come back around. Anytime I am in doubt of that, I have plenty of friends to remind me how good life is. These days I'm keeping it simple. And for a girl who used to think simple was boring, I'll be the first to say it's the best idea I've come up with in 30 years. Here's to my next 30 years...can't wait to see where this adventure goes!
-ldw
A former boss of mine had a theory that by the time you're 34 is when life falls into place. She told me the other day that 30 was her favorite year because that's when she figured out where she wanted her life to go. I love that inspiration. I like feeling more knowledgeable than clueless in all of life's areas yet knowing there are still many lessons to be learned. I feel better prepared for situations with friends, work, etc. I find myself being more open which has always been a goal for me. I used to be very closed off & would shy away from things that weren't in my comfort zone. Thankfully, I have chosen very good friends who are supportive and encouraging to stepping outside of that.
Recently, I have started to open up my own little world with new experiences. And new acceptances that my pride used to hinder me from doing. A year ago, I couldn't say that I know how to shoot a gun. A year ago, I couldn't say that I know how to forgive without resent. A year ago, I couldn't say I choose (more often than not) to act responsibly instead of impulsively. A year ago, I was writing angry blogs about boys. A year ago, I was contemplating my next move for the gypsy soul. It's nice to be able to see that I'm growing and learning that "Don't sweat the small stuff" wasn't just some cliche phrase. Because I don't sweat the small stuff anymore. I have somehow figured out how to take the ups and downs of life as they are. To be frank, shit happens. That's never going to change. You have the choice to let it rule your life or to go with it. Life has an ebb and flow that isn't always great. However, I have finally realized that you just need patience sometimes to let the good come back around. Anytime I am in doubt of that, I have plenty of friends to remind me how good life is. These days I'm keeping it simple. And for a girl who used to think simple was boring, I'll be the first to say it's the best idea I've come up with in 30 years. Here's to my next 30 years...can't wait to see where this adventure goes!
-ldw
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