"...it seems that love no longer can turn me on..." [from "Rock & Roll" by The Sounds]
I take a random song I downloaded after hearing it on some movie and I realize that it is EXACTLY how I feel about my "love life" right now. I don't believe in falling in love right now. Maybe I have too many other areas of life to worry about, but love just doesn't fit into my schedule. Some might say that it is depressing but I honestly cannot bring myself to feel that way about it. One of the next lines of that song is, "I gave my heart to rock 'n' roll." That got me to thinking that honestly I've been more emotional about music in my life than I have about most people in my life. I live vicariously through music. I fall asleep to it. I smile to it. I cry to it. I breathe to it. I, one hundred percent, LOVE it. I am in love with music...more than I've ever been with any man.
I don't cry in front of anyone, but play "How To Disappear Completely" by Radiohead after I've had a bad day and I will cry like a small child who just dropped their brand new ice cream cone on the sidewalk. I rarely melt from romantic gestures but I will melt when I hear "Secret" by Maroon 5 played in an acoustic set in a dimly lit bar. I don't think about my first love every second of the day but play "Please Remember Me" by Tim McGraw and every memory of us will rush back like it was yesterday. I don't get giddy & "twitterpatted" over any man but if I hear "Sparks" by Coldplay, the butterflies are immediate.
Music has this wonderful gift of making us remember exactly how we felt during some of our greatest and most devastating moments. So, while some people are living these things with others...I am choosing to live them through lyrics and melodies. I love that hearing a song can instantly take me back to a time and place that made me smile, or in some cases cut me to the core. Those times that cut me to the core no longer scare me when I remember them because I've learned those lessons & I'm better for it.
So, while some may dismay at their lack of love and companionship in their lives, I know that comfort is easily found on my radio. It's found by turning on my iPod and putting on my favorite playlist that holds all the comfort I need. While my bed is empty, my soul is content while those soft melodies of "Glorybox" by Portishead calm me. I cuddle up with Dave Matthews sweetly singing a cover of my favorite song of all time "Wild Horses" and fall soundly to sleep while John Mayer is "Covered in Rain."
I wake up to the Beatles letting me know "Here Comes the Sun" and Bob Marley telling me that "Every little thing is gonna be alright..." And I remind myself of my favorite movie line from Almost Famous: "I always tell the girls, never take it seriously. If you never take it seriously, you'll never get hurt. If you never get hurt, you'll always have fun...and when you get lonely, go to the record store and visit your friends."
I've given my heart to rock 'n' roll.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Sunday, September 6, 2009
The Right Kind of Wrong
He's cunning, isn't he? The typical Alpha male that you see out charming all the ladies. You know the guy I'm talking about. He can be seen chatting up some pretty little thing and at the end of the night, he'll be walking out the door with some pretty little thing. You know his story. You know how he operates. He's certainly been a topic of conversation in the ladies' room a time or two. So, what is a girl to do when he swaggers up to you. He leans in close and whispers something a bit more sultry than sweet nothings. He's good at what he does and furthermore, he is completely honest with the ladies about his intentions, or lack thereof. Some are too naive to see what he's really about and the other half don't care after a few fruity cocktails and shots, courtesy of our Alpha male. But you...you're smarter than the average bear and you think to yourself, "He won't get the best of me. I know better."
Yet, here you are at last call and he's throwing you that devil smile with a suggestive eyebrow raise. To say you falter would be unfair since you know full well what you're getting yourself into. Society's double standard isn't going to apply to you tonight. Temptation just feels too good sometimes. So, you give in. It goes without saying that a man with that much experience will not disappoint. A man who says all the right things even when your brain is telling you he's all wrong for you. Maybe for tonight though, he's the right kind of wrong. As long as you're aware of the fact that the Alpha male is not Prince Charming. He isn't planning a future with you. He's already thinking about how to snag the other pretty little things he saw at the bar that he could've got with if you had said no.
The Alpha male while entertaining at times is probably the simplest of the male species to figure out. Remember that dog you had when you were a kid that would chase birds/insects/whatever in the yard but when he caught it, he didn't want it anymore. This is the M.O. of the Alpha male. My, my how he loves the excitement of chasing his female prey but after catching them he takes a last sniff & moves onto the next chase. Beware when the Alpha male starts to paw you...he has big plans for you. Yet, they don't involve a fairy tale.
In the case of the Alpha male ladies, forewarned is forearmed. Regardless of if you choose to give in or count yourself out, at least you can make an informed decision now. While he shares the same qualities as a dog chasing his prey, he was given enough brains not to hump your leg in public. So, he's not a complete loss to the human race nor as a companion for the night.
The next time you see him, he'll of course be surrounded by a circle of girls, twirling their hair between their fingers & giggling at his jokes. As you are closing out your tab at one bar, he'll walk up of course. He will say something sly to you like, "I'll bump into you later." Insert devil smile here. You return his grin and reply, "Oh, I'm sure you will.", You play his little game despite the fact that you've already decided you are going home alone. You don't need his empty comfort tonight. While the Alpha male is so used to using women, it has never occurred to him that we also use him right back. And there's nothing wrong with that.
Yet, here you are at last call and he's throwing you that devil smile with a suggestive eyebrow raise. To say you falter would be unfair since you know full well what you're getting yourself into. Society's double standard isn't going to apply to you tonight. Temptation just feels too good sometimes. So, you give in. It goes without saying that a man with that much experience will not disappoint. A man who says all the right things even when your brain is telling you he's all wrong for you. Maybe for tonight though, he's the right kind of wrong. As long as you're aware of the fact that the Alpha male is not Prince Charming. He isn't planning a future with you. He's already thinking about how to snag the other pretty little things he saw at the bar that he could've got with if you had said no.
The Alpha male while entertaining at times is probably the simplest of the male species to figure out. Remember that dog you had when you were a kid that would chase birds/insects/whatever in the yard but when he caught it, he didn't want it anymore. This is the M.O. of the Alpha male. My, my how he loves the excitement of chasing his female prey but after catching them he takes a last sniff & moves onto the next chase. Beware when the Alpha male starts to paw you...he has big plans for you. Yet, they don't involve a fairy tale.
In the case of the Alpha male ladies, forewarned is forearmed. Regardless of if you choose to give in or count yourself out, at least you can make an informed decision now. While he shares the same qualities as a dog chasing his prey, he was given enough brains not to hump your leg in public. So, he's not a complete loss to the human race nor as a companion for the night.
The next time you see him, he'll of course be surrounded by a circle of girls, twirling their hair between their fingers & giggling at his jokes. As you are closing out your tab at one bar, he'll walk up of course. He will say something sly to you like, "I'll bump into you later." Insert devil smile here. You return his grin and reply, "Oh, I'm sure you will.", You play his little game despite the fact that you've already decided you are going home alone. You don't need his empty comfort tonight. While the Alpha male is so used to using women, it has never occurred to him that we also use him right back. And there's nothing wrong with that.
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