"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left."
- Marilyn Monroe
How do we become "a wise girl"? Females certainly struggle throughout young adulthood with what exactly we are supposed to do when it comes to love and relationships. As teenagers, the general female population has a large misconception of a fairy tale ending. After a couple heartbreaks, the average gal begins to see that Prince Charming usually ends up being a jerk. Is it our fault that we fall for these losers, or should we take it upon ourselves to smarten up when it comes to love?
We get our hearts broken. Sometimes we learn our lesson and sometimes we repeat these love mistakes. Men tell us that we are needy, obsessive, jealous, and just plain crazy. So, once we discover these terrible traits that obviously do not attract men, what do we do? Well, some girls remain in their fantasy world and somehow end up finding Mr. Right just by chance. [Note: that doesn't make them lucky, it makes them naive.] As for the rest of us, we become those "wise" girls.
After being told we are needy, we learn to be laid back and not fret over you calling or texting every day. After you say we obsess over stupid stuff, we refuse to obsess at all (or at least only to our girlfriends). After being accused of being a jealous girlfriend, we learn to let things slide and find security in ourselves and our relationship. After being crazy on more than one occasion, we learn to keep ourselves in check and bite our tongue, even when we know we shouldn't. So, what reward do we get for finally becoming the perfect girl? Not a damn thing. Because guess what also comes with being wise? We become bitter, insensitive, cynical, and downright hateful sometimes toward the male population. And it's all YOUR fault, boys.
When we become wise girls, we're too smart for you now. You fellas don't want us. We become the single girls. You can't get anything past us now, so we're useless to you. We become the opposite of everything you gripe about when it comes to female behavior, and when that happens, boys decide they don't want that girl either. So, the next time one of you males falls head over heels for a female, I hope she kisses you but doesn't love you. I hope she listens to you but never believes one sorry thing out of your mouth. I hope she leaves you and breaks your heart.
This may seem bitter, insensitive, cynical, and downright hateful, but what else did you expect from a wise girl? Pun clearly intended.
-ldw
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
undeniable thunder...
My heart skipped a beat [or tweleve] when I saw you again
I ignored it and put up the wall to keep you out
I gave you a quick hug and a cold shoulder
I wanted to feel nothing. I felt everything instead.
Later that night, after avoiding you all day and lying to myself
we found ourselves in conversation
saying everything but what we really meant
But with a little liquid courage, I found my voice again
I didn't let you off easy, raising my voice to prove a point
I had to let you know you weren't dealing with a little girl anymore
Foolishly I tried to convince you [and myself] that there were no feelings left for you
As we argued, a storm began to brew above our heads
We took cover on the street as the rain came down around us
As if to mirror the weather, I unleashed my rage at you
wanting you to know that I wasn't giving in
"I felt nothing when you got off that bus"
Not sure how I even kept a straight face when I said it
A gust of wind blew the rain on my face
and that's when you placed your hand softly under my chin
and before I could stop you, your lips were on mine
I felt thunder but it wasn't from the sky
A kiss that lasted for seconds bridged the gap between 364 sleeps
I pushed you away because it was too much to take all at once
We stared at each other, contemplating the next move
Calm like the eye of the storm
Then, the lightening struck and the street went dark.
You reached for me and this time, I couldn't deny you.
It was only you and me in the darkness, hiding from the world.
The lights flickered on again and you kissed my forehead.
You wrapped your arms around me as I shivered from the rain. [And from you.]
And the tears came down my cheeks because I knew this is what I wanted
I cried for all the months I waited for you to come back
and I cried for the other man whose heart I knew I'd be breaking
And maybe because I knew you weren't the right choice but I chose you anyway
As a perfect metaphor, you provided shelter from the storm
and our future is as unpredictable as the weather
I ignored it and put up the wall to keep you out
I gave you a quick hug and a cold shoulder
I wanted to feel nothing. I felt everything instead.
Later that night, after avoiding you all day and lying to myself
we found ourselves in conversation
saying everything but what we really meant
But with a little liquid courage, I found my voice again
I didn't let you off easy, raising my voice to prove a point
I had to let you know you weren't dealing with a little girl anymore
Foolishly I tried to convince you [and myself] that there were no feelings left for you
As we argued, a storm began to brew above our heads
We took cover on the street as the rain came down around us
As if to mirror the weather, I unleashed my rage at you
wanting you to know that I wasn't giving in
"I felt nothing when you got off that bus"
Not sure how I even kept a straight face when I said it
A gust of wind blew the rain on my face
and that's when you placed your hand softly under my chin
and before I could stop you, your lips were on mine
I felt thunder but it wasn't from the sky
A kiss that lasted for seconds bridged the gap between 364 sleeps
I pushed you away because it was too much to take all at once
We stared at each other, contemplating the next move
Calm like the eye of the storm
Then, the lightening struck and the street went dark.
You reached for me and this time, I couldn't deny you.
It was only you and me in the darkness, hiding from the world.
The lights flickered on again and you kissed my forehead.
You wrapped your arms around me as I shivered from the rain. [And from you.]
And the tears came down my cheeks because I knew this is what I wanted
I cried for all the months I waited for you to come back
and I cried for the other man whose heart I knew I'd be breaking
And maybe because I knew you weren't the right choice but I chose you anyway
As a perfect metaphor, you provided shelter from the storm
and our future is as unpredictable as the weather
Friday, April 15, 2011
the fiery heart
The human heart is said to be one of the most vital organs in the body. It has four chambers and is surrounded by a protective wall. It is responsible for pumping blood through our body to keep us alive. I can read any medical book to explain how it physically works. Despite all of the world's medical advancements, no one can explain the true inner workings of our hearts. The intagible chambers inside where we compartmentalize our feelings for others go unseen by medical equipment. How we feel for others is what flows inside our metaphorical hearts instead of blood. Yet, they serve the same purpose of keeping us alive. Without the affection and love of others, we're just dead inside. So, why is it so hard to let down the wall around our hearts? Letting down our guard opens up the chance for our hearts to thrive and soak in all that love. Perhaps it is fear that if we don't get that love we're hoping for, it's worse than death. Our own feelings can sustain us, but it is returned love that makes us complete.
Greek philosopher Plato theorized that the origin of reasoning came from the brain, but passion was a child of the "fiery" heart. Logic certainly does not live inside our hearts, or there might be a lot less heartaches. If we were all able to listen to our brains when it comes to love, we would know that some choices are better than others. But most of the time our hearts and brains don't see eye to eye. Our brains are what cause us to second guess ourselves and our partners. Our hearts tend to push us in a certain direction even when we don't know why. So, who's the smarter of the two? If we listen to logic, are we turning our back on passion? The choices of our hearts cannot be understood by rational thought. It is the act of feeling and following where those feelings may lead. The smart option may not always be the right choice when it comes to love.
How do we convince our hearts to feel for someone we know can take care of us but we lack the passion for? We don't. Our hearts don't understand what it means to do the right thing...they only know what feels right. Heartaches are inevitable as we weave our way through ours and others' feelings. Yet, at the end of the day you must be honest with yourself and fair to those who invest their own hearts in you, especially if you don't share their feelings. We can't help what we feel and trying to force it isn't good for anyone in the long run. My own heart is still figuring out where it wants to be but I do know this much: "I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-you love." My heart won't compromise for anything less. And neither should yours.
-ldw
[quote by carrie bradshaw from sex & the city's season 6 finale episode]
Greek philosopher Plato theorized that the origin of reasoning came from the brain, but passion was a child of the "fiery" heart. Logic certainly does not live inside our hearts, or there might be a lot less heartaches. If we were all able to listen to our brains when it comes to love, we would know that some choices are better than others. But most of the time our hearts and brains don't see eye to eye. Our brains are what cause us to second guess ourselves and our partners. Our hearts tend to push us in a certain direction even when we don't know why. So, who's the smarter of the two? If we listen to logic, are we turning our back on passion? The choices of our hearts cannot be understood by rational thought. It is the act of feeling and following where those feelings may lead. The smart option may not always be the right choice when it comes to love.
How do we convince our hearts to feel for someone we know can take care of us but we lack the passion for? We don't. Our hearts don't understand what it means to do the right thing...they only know what feels right. Heartaches are inevitable as we weave our way through ours and others' feelings. Yet, at the end of the day you must be honest with yourself and fair to those who invest their own hearts in you, especially if you don't share their feelings. We can't help what we feel and trying to force it isn't good for anyone in the long run. My own heart is still figuring out where it wants to be but I do know this much: "I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-you love." My heart won't compromise for anything less. And neither should yours.
-ldw
[quote by carrie bradshaw from sex & the city's season 6 finale episode]
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