"We are like sculptors, constantly carving out of others the image we long for, need, love or desire, often against reality, against their benefit, and always, in the end, a disappointment, because it does not fit them." - Anais Nin
We long for others to see us, accept us, and love us for who we are. Yet, often times we do not give them the same courtesy. We see a person the way we want to see them. Particularly if we are attracted to them, we see a created persona and sometimes that is not at all what that person is really made of. We feel a spark and hope the chemistry is mutual. So, we romanticize the simplest of gestures or actions into something they aren't. We confuse a passing glance, a brush of the hand, or a shared smile as something more than happenstance.
Every person comes to us as an untouched piece of marble. Like a sculptor, we survey the piece of marble before ever putting a chisel to it. We create in our minds what we want to make out of this person and this is perhaps our greatest flaw.
Once we realize a person may not appear to be who we thought they were, that's when we start to chip away carelessly. We become more desperate to mold them into our desired image we started with. We can only live inside our own heads for so long until reality sets in and that person shows us their true image. It isn't usually their fault. It's ours for letting our imaginations get the best of us. I doubt it's a habit we can overcome, especially if you're a romantic like me. Because I always have the hope that one day that image I create for my object of desire will fit him perfectly....that my ideal piece of marble can be carved to reveal what I've been looking for all along.
Alas, we find ourselves disappointed. Because at the end of the day, who can really satisfy our ideal image? No one. We have to see and accept others for what they are or else we'll never be happy. But isn't that what love is supposed to be like? Accepting someone for exactly who they are and loving them anyway. Once we learn to do that, I think we'll find that things will fit more perfectly than we had previously thought they could. If we are to be sculptors, then we should just start chiseling away to get to the core. Discover everything you can about your "piece of marble" and see if it's a project worth pursuing. There's no room for disappointment when there's beautiful art to be made.
-ldw
We long for others to see us, accept us, and love us for who we are. Yet, often times we do not give them the same courtesy. We see a person the way we want to see them. Particularly if we are attracted to them, we see a created persona and sometimes that is not at all what that person is really made of. We feel a spark and hope the chemistry is mutual. So, we romanticize the simplest of gestures or actions into something they aren't. We confuse a passing glance, a brush of the hand, or a shared smile as something more than happenstance.
Every person comes to us as an untouched piece of marble. Like a sculptor, we survey the piece of marble before ever putting a chisel to it. We create in our minds what we want to make out of this person and this is perhaps our greatest flaw.
Once we realize a person may not appear to be who we thought they were, that's when we start to chip away carelessly. We become more desperate to mold them into our desired image we started with. We can only live inside our own heads for so long until reality sets in and that person shows us their true image. It isn't usually their fault. It's ours for letting our imaginations get the best of us. I doubt it's a habit we can overcome, especially if you're a romantic like me. Because I always have the hope that one day that image I create for my object of desire will fit him perfectly....that my ideal piece of marble can be carved to reveal what I've been looking for all along.
Alas, we find ourselves disappointed. Because at the end of the day, who can really satisfy our ideal image? No one. We have to see and accept others for what they are or else we'll never be happy. But isn't that what love is supposed to be like? Accepting someone for exactly who they are and loving them anyway. Once we learn to do that, I think we'll find that things will fit more perfectly than we had previously thought they could. If we are to be sculptors, then we should just start chiseling away to get to the core. Discover everything you can about your "piece of marble" and see if it's a project worth pursuing. There's no room for disappointment when there's beautiful art to be made.
-ldw
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