Getting My Feet Wet

Wow, it's been awhile but I felt compelled today. I celebrated my 33rd birthday this past Sunday. For some reason this week I have realized how far I've come from my younger self. Some things haven't changed....like listening to my favorite, Corey Smith while I write. He's a great muse to my emotions. It probably helps that he's getting older too and continues to write music I can relate to beyond the younger stuff of drunken nights and heartaches. As his newest hit on the radio says, "I'm just getting my feet wet..."

In my twenties I used to think that was the time I was doing all these amazing things in life. I was partying and living it up never worrying about tomorrow. Flash forward to today. In a little over a year, I'll be getting married to a wonderful man who was definitely the person that God intended me to find. Only he could put up with the craziness that is me, There are nights when we throw caution to the wind and don't worry about tomorrow....but that notion always seems to bit us in the ass the next morning when grown up responsibilities call.

I've reached that age where all my friends are getting married too and having kids. It's funny to think I used to say I hated kids and now I am so in love with my future nephews. I just got off the phone with one of my best friends (and future bridesmaid) due to a chocolate milk fiasco. Of all of these life disasters between family, friends, kids, and pets happen, it's nice to know we can all laugh and survive through those together. One of my favorite quotes from a movie is from Lost in Translation when Bill Murray's character says, "The more you know who you are and what you want, the less you let things upset you." I want this life of friends and family with all of life's ups and downs. The things I used to call tragedies in my 20s are laughable compared to the daily struggles we encounter. I say laughable because as I get older, it's easier to laugh more things off instead of letting them consume me with misery. It's pretty hard these days to rain on my parade. I've gotten pretty good at finding that silver lining. It could help that my wonderful future husband lets me vent to him regularly.

I realized the other day that I used to only write when I was sad or upset which made for great entertainment for my (very few) fans. It seems that I associated writing with personal misery so I will try to change that perspective. As I type this final sentence, I miss this. So I'll try to be better and not let another year pass before the next one.

-ldw