"Those" Girls

All of us know at least one of those girls. She's the sweet, simple girl that always has a boyfriend. For as long as you've known her, this girl has been in relationship after relationship. Like any girl, she has had her heart broken and even joined you a time or two on the "boys suck" bandwagon. However, like clockwork a few weeks after that, there will be a new man in her life. She, unlike you, doesn't have one night stands or flavors of the week. Somehow this girl has figured out how to make her men stick around. Before I get any of "those" girls bashing my blog, let me go ahead and say that my hat is off to you. And I'll tell you why.

I know you're thinking that I'm going to say I admire those girls who can make men stay because I seem to always make them stray. This may be true, but I'm more impressed with their ability to put up with men's pretentions. I'm quite certain at this point that the reason I can't keep men around is because I call their bluff most of the time. Those simple girls don't really like to make a fuss and they were taught by their mothers to be accommodating. I'm not knocking those girls because while they are cuddled up at night next to a warm body, I'm lying awake listening to some acoustic melody and cuddled up with my pillow. I do wonder, however, if perhaps they are lying awake at night too, even in the comfort of their lover's arms. Are they also dreaming of a man they've yet to find?

Furthermore I wonder if those girls have ever been like me. If so, how did they make the transition? Am I willing to make the transition? Do I want to? Is it better to be one of "those" girls or your own girl? I think for the most part I don't want to sacrifice who I am just so a man will stay with me. In my experience, there is always something inconvenient about me that men don't want to deal with. So, how do we decide which parts of us to compromise in order to find happiness? I am currently soul searching on which parts of me I'm willing to bend and which parts I don't plan to budge on. Once I reach that answer, I may be content with taking a step into the world of those girls.

Until then, “Just let me go, we have to be able to criticize what we love, to say what we have to say 'cause if you're not trying to make something better, then as far as I can tell, you are just in the way.” Thank you, Ani Difranco.

Wise Girl Revelation...

As many pieces that I have written as a "Wise Girl" you would think I would take my own advice. However, it has come to my attention that half the things I write I don't hardly ever apply to my own life. Well, every once in awhile the teeny tiniest of events can happen and it is the straw that breaks the camel's back. I woke up a few mornings ago and really hated all men. Of all the reasons that flowed through my brain, the number one reason is because I have let men control my emotions and drive me insane. As much of an independent woman as I put out there, I am nothing but "Little Miss Obsessive" when it comes to my own love life.

I blame my hopeless romantic nature on the fact that I continue to care about and love men who most likely never got past the stage of infactuation with me. I'm quite charming but apparently men forget any sense of staying power after a few weeks with me. (I've run off my share of men as well, but I think it's mostly because I wanted to beat them to the punch.) It occurs to me that I spend entirely too much time doing nothing more than "sitting, waiting, wishing" for some man to notice how wonderful I am and sweep me off my feet. In 26 years, I can count on one hand how many men have attempted such a bold gesture. So, knowing this why do I even waste my time on men who aren't worthy of it?

I have no idea why I don't have the power to make some men as miserable as they make me. Oh, wait because I'm actually a good person with a good heart. I don't like when people play with my heart, so I try to avoid doing it to anyone else. They say the person who cares the least in a relationship is the one who controls it. So, basically 90% of my "relationships" were not controlled by me. I'm not naive and I realize that at the very heart of it, it is my fault I have allowed this to happen. Well, this Wise Girl had one hell of a revelation this morning.

I am ready to have my "I hate men" stage in life. I think the only way I can learn my lesson is to avoid men for awhile. Clearly I understand that the world is full of them and I can't avoid them every single second of every day. What I mean is that I plan to focus more time on me and with the friends that love me. Because I really think they were onto something in that Sex & the City episode when one of the girls said, "Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with." Perhaps that mentality is best for now. It is time to let the feminist from within come out and play. I am woman, hear me roar! And boys, stay out of my way because I've had it with you for now. I am through worrying about what you think of me.

"Squint your eyes and look closer, I'm not between you & your ambition, I am a poster girl with no poster, I am 32 flavors & then some..." - Ani Difranco