When I was a kid, I was always “it” when it came to games such as, “Duck Duck Goose” and other chasing games. I wasn’t very sporty and therefore wasn’t as fast as the other kids. It’s slightly annoying to find that as adults, a lot of us find ourselves still “it” when it comes to chasing in adult life. Of all the relationship vices, the one I would really like to tackle is learning to let others chase me instead of the other way around. I personally find satisfaction in doing the chasing but it never seems to work out to my advantage in the end. If real life were a game of “Duck Duck Goose,” I’m the one running in circles over and over because I can’t catch my target.
More often than not, we find ourselves playing a game of "Hide and Seek" with the significant (and not-so-significant) others in our lives. It's like we're on the playground having a great time together, then by the time you count to 100 they have run away from you. While I'm pretty good at guessing hiding spots, who really has the time for that these days? You know they will always end up back at "base" but how did they manage to slip right past you while you were searching for them? How do we determine where "base" is in real life? Is there ever really a safe place to run to in order to ensure you won't be "it" in the next round of the game? Perhaps some of us are both seekers and hiders. Do we keep seeking because we are trying to hide our true feelings or desires? Is the chase a distraction to ourselves to avoid who or what we really want?
Maybe we tolerate these games because we are afraid of not playing games. At least as long as I'm "it," I know my task at hand. If I weren't "it," I would be hiding all the time or sitting in the circle nervous with unknowing if I was about to be chosen to be the "goose." If relationships are such a toss up anyway, why not just play them like "Blind Man's Bluff"? We could just leave it up to blind luck whether or not we picked the target we were really after. I'm pretty sure that's actually how it works anyway in the game of love.
I suppose ever so often though, our target does slow up & gets caught on purpose. Maybe they just made us play these games to see if we were worth chasing in return. After all, in these adult chasing games, it is generally considered a good thing to get caught. Unlike when we were children, it is very much in our control whether we allow ourselves to get caught or not. So, I say if you're afraid to get caught then maybe that is exactly what needs to happen. I say, it's time to play for keeps. So, who's "it" this time?
More often than not, we find ourselves playing a game of "Hide and Seek" with the significant (and not-so-significant) others in our lives. It's like we're on the playground having a great time together, then by the time you count to 100 they have run away from you. While I'm pretty good at guessing hiding spots, who really has the time for that these days? You know they will always end up back at "base" but how did they manage to slip right past you while you were searching for them? How do we determine where "base" is in real life? Is there ever really a safe place to run to in order to ensure you won't be "it" in the next round of the game? Perhaps some of us are both seekers and hiders. Do we keep seeking because we are trying to hide our true feelings or desires? Is the chase a distraction to ourselves to avoid who or what we really want?
Maybe we tolerate these games because we are afraid of not playing games. At least as long as I'm "it," I know my task at hand. If I weren't "it," I would be hiding all the time or sitting in the circle nervous with unknowing if I was about to be chosen to be the "goose." If relationships are such a toss up anyway, why not just play them like "Blind Man's Bluff"? We could just leave it up to blind luck whether or not we picked the target we were really after. I'm pretty sure that's actually how it works anyway in the game of love.
I suppose ever so often though, our target does slow up & gets caught on purpose. Maybe they just made us play these games to see if we were worth chasing in return. After all, in these adult chasing games, it is generally considered a good thing to get caught. Unlike when we were children, it is very much in our control whether we allow ourselves to get caught or not. So, I say if you're afraid to get caught then maybe that is exactly what needs to happen. I say, it's time to play for keeps. So, who's "it" this time?
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