Coward Road

If there is one thing I know as a woman, it is when a man looks at me and wishes I was someone else. The longing in his eyes hides just beneath the surface and at first, it's hard to realize. A woman hopes the longing is for her but her intuition tells her otherwise. She will talk herself out of the reality for awhile until it isn't just in his eyes. It becomes a coolness in his touch. Hands that used to bring warmth & excitement have become unfeeling. His hands that once radiated heat for his woman now give her the chills yet they provide no passion. It isn't just the eyes or the hands though. It's a kiss that doesn't hold a spark. A kiss by the book, but not from his heart. His lips pretend they are touching another but as soon as his eyes open, you feel the distance widen instantly. You are inches apart yet he is miles away from you inside.

A woman knows when it isn't her that you want. A woman knows when there is another whose companionship you desire. A woman knows when her bed doesn't satisfy your needs anymore. Don't take us for fools because we already know everything there is to know. We are just trying to talk ourselves out of the rejection that is inevitable. We don't want to be traded in or turned away. We don't want to feel inadequate. We don't want to let go of what we want even if they want someone else. It is selfish of both the man and the woman to carry on this charade. But what is a little bit of selfishness compared to deceit and dishonesty? If neither is being honest about what's going on, does it really matter that they clearly have a lack of respect for each other & their relationship if they can't face facts that they aren't meant to be together.

There are few other things more hurtful to a human being that filling a space because someone's desired partner is not theirs [for whatever reason.] I think it is cowardness that stops a man from letting a woman know that his heart is with another just because he wants to warm his bed to help him make it through the night without the woman he really wants.

I myself am guilty of this treason yet never realized the fault until I was the unwanted looking into the eyes of a man who looked right through me because I wasn't "her." So, for the men who want to use me as a substitute for the woman you really want, there is a road you can head to before the road that leads into my neighborhood. It's called Coward Road [true story] and it may have been created just for you.