In ruins...

"Ruin is the road to transformation..."

From my current standpoint, I have made another big mess of my life. This isn't one of those "Woe is me" kind of things because I am learning to find the silver lining no matter how dark the overcast may be. I think it's important when your plans don't go your way to be able to look at them objectively and admit your own defeat. While most will tell you not to call it failure, I believe that is sometimes necessary in order to give yourself a new beginning. One may ask how many new beginnings I have racked up so far in life. I would guess about 20-something...and counting. The line between learning your lesson and not dwelling on the past is very thin and hard to manuever at times.

We are creatures of constant change. What shifts inside us through life's ups and downs is shaping who we are meant to be. I'll be the first to admit that to call myself a "work in progress" would be an understatement. There are parts of me that I think I've gotten figured out and other parts that I can't even begin to try to make sense of. In hindsight, which we all know is quite clear, I learn the most about myself when I'm at my lowest points. That's when you can take a really good look at yourself and see what you're made of. I can't say I'm always happy about what I see. In that same breath, I will say that I can see changes in me that make me proud of who I am. While I might not have it all together, the stuff I do have together is becoming solid for a good foundation to build on. Maybe I am just using a different blueprint than most. I've been known to do things in an unconventional way. I guess you could say I think to keep things interesting.

If the quote above is true, then my transformation can't be far behind because my life certainly seems to be in ruins at the moment. But, my mama taught me to be a survior, so I won't stay down for long. I have already started to pick up the pieces to move ahead. I'm searching through the rubble for the things that I can still salvage. Sometimes they knock down buildings to build something better. That's the approach I'll take this time. A bit of renovating can't be too bad for the soul.