gray.

Gray is my favorite color...to see in my closet. In my life, I have discovered that the color gray does not suit me at all. It seems I have settled for shades of gray too often when I know that I deserve more. It is completely my fault that I didn't step up and paint my relationships with black or white. But, sometimes you just have to get yourself a new palette to paint with. Anyone who has ever tried to add black or white back into gray knows that it doesn't matter how much of either you add, gray is still gray. It's quite a stubborn color if you're trying to change it. In life, can we get out of a gray area without making a mess? Or do we have to start from scratch to escape it?

I will not settle for gray. Not anymore. So many of my relationships have been there that I can't even remember the last one that was black or white for me. For a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve, gray just doesn't work with that outfit. So, give me black or give me white...if not either of those, then I'll go without. Andre Gide said, "The color of truth is gray." Only when we decide that gray isn't an area we want to be in do we pursue the truth of our situation. The truth may not be what we want to hear, but it's better than living in a fantasy where the happy ending never comes. Unfortunately, I have found that leaving the gray behind usually means leaving everything that came with it. There can be no in between. It does mean throwing away the old canvas and starting from scratch. Otherwise, we would find ourselves right back in that situation again, trying to paint over the old canvas. You can't paint something new over an old canvas without it being a mess...you can paint the same picture, but who wants to repeat old mistakes? So, I'm getting a new canvas with a brand new set of paints...minus gray, of course.




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