There's this notion in my head that I won't be happy until I figure out what I want in life. I have been thinking of happiness as if it is a destination... a place I want to end up. Yet, happiness is a state of mind. It's a mood we're in or a way we feel. It isn't a place. I wouldn't think of sad or tired or hungry as a place to go to. These moods come and go every day, just like being happy.
I'm happy when I'm reading curled up in my bed, but every book has an ending. I'm happy when I'm wearing my blue fuzzy sweatpants, but I can't wear them every day. I'm happy when I'm singing in front of a crowd, but karaoke is only one night a week. I'm happy when I'm driving on a summer day with the windows down and the radio up, but I'd run out of gas if I kept driving without stopping. I'm happy when the smell of fresh baked cookies hits me in the face as I pull them out of the oven, but the smell goes away once they cool off.
Our moments of happiness aren't everlasting. We have to have a few breaks in between to be other things besides happy. Otherwise, we wouldn't appreciate our moments of bliss. If I stop looking at happiness as a destination, perhaps I'll start enjoying myself more. Because when I see it as a place I'm trying to get to, it feels unattainable. We think we are looking for our happy endings but we all know by now that endings are just new beginnings. So, it would make more sense to focus on happy beginnings, happy middles, and happy endings. We should accept that there is going to be some not-so-great stuff that wiggles its way in every once in awhile. If we weren't sad sometimes, we wouldn't know why being happy felt so good. I feel more hopeful knowing that happiness isn't a place I'm trying to reach. That way I can always know that my next smile is just waiting around the corner.
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