pick up a dictionary, fellas!

chivalry [chiv·al·ry] - noun
- the sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valor, and dexterity in arms.

          It has come to my recent attention that while I had hoped it was only hibernating, chivalry is in fact dead. There seems to be a lack of knights in our generation riding any white horses and sweeping us off our feet. I have decided that from now on when I meet a guy, I will give him a copy of the dictionary. The page containing the definition for chivalry will be dog earred and the definition itself highlighted. I would like to be optimistic in thinking I would not have to be that obvious, however recent events has proven to me that giving any man the benefit of the doubt is naive on my part.
          For a man to show courtesy, it is a simple matter of being polite. I did not realize having manners was such a challenge these days. We're in the South, guys, so I know your mamas taught you those growing up. Although some of your mamas would be ashamed of you if they saw the way you treated the ladies. Forget the woman's movement and realize that just because we are independent women now doesn't mean we aren't tickled pink when a man opens a car door or helps us put on our jacket. Little gestures truly make all the difference to us and it certainly separates the men from the boys...or should I say the knights from the squires?
          Generosity is certainly a quality to be valued in a potential partner. Don't let the big word scare you...it only means to be kind. If I am curious about the level of a male's kindness, I look at the way he treats those around him and how they react to him. I'm not talking about how he is with his friends either. Those are the same idiots who holler out, "Bros over hos" as if we females really appreciate that popular catchphrase. Clean up your language and be mindful of the terms you use when referring to us. That act of kindness alone could start earning males a better reputation with us.
          I suppose valor is a little harder to define in our day and age. In the times of knights, it meant to show courage on the battlefield. I would be a bit more impressed with a man who knew that avoiding violence showed a stronger character. No girl wants a hothead that loses his temper and uses his fists as solutions to petty problems. I am going to let you in on a really big secret for those guys who think that fighting makes you look like a macho man... 9 times out of 10, it makes you look like an idiot. For us, it's embarrassing to be with a man who can't control his temper. Ever heard that saying, "It takes a stronger man not to fight." It isn't referring to your physical strength; it's referring to a strong mind. I'm pretty sure most ladies would agree that they'd rather have an intelligent companion than a caveman. Some girls might be impressed by a man who is seemingly defending her honor, but I think you'll find that WOMEN do not tolerate this behavior. Grow up and learn how to use words to solve a situation instead of your fist.
          As for dexterity of arms...well, let's just say that just because you know how to use your "sword" doesn't mean you have the right to go swinging that thing wherever you want to. I could go in so many different directions with this metaphor, but I feel like it would deserve an entire blog itself. Moving on...
          I am well aware that there are still a few "knights" out there looking for their own lady in waiting. This lady in waiting needs to stop hanging out with squires when she knows she deserves better. I will admit to my own fault in this dilemma of not demanding more from said squires. In the meantime, I'm looking on eBay for a chastity belt. I think those gals might have been on to something with that.

[LDW]