somewhere between crazy and lazy

As women, we are blessed with an indecisive nature. We change our minds on a daily (okay, sometimes hourly) basis. As soon as we get what we're after, we decide we want the opposite. We cut our hair short and then complain that we can't put it into a ponytail. We spend hours in dressing rooms trying to decide which shirt to buy, only to get home & say, "I should've bought the other one." Our worlds are a constant yin and yang of decisions. Heels or flats? Stay in or go out? Grey's Anatomy or Vampire Diaries? Hair straight or hair curly? And I could seriously go on and on.

Our most common choices of indecision usually involve the opposite sex. We can spend hours gabbing with our gal pals over what we want in a fellow companion. We spend even more hours complaining when the one we thought was Mr. Right turns into Mr. Everything We Thought He Wasn't. In general, there seems to be two categories that males fall into: crazy and lazy.

Let's start with Mr. Crazy. He is a master of charm and has perfected the art of a great first impression. He is the guy we meet and say, "Wow, where did this guy come from?" Upon your initial meeting, he is attentive and asks you about yourself. He listens to your stories and lets you ramble on, allowing you to stroke your own ego. He gushes with compliments and you let it slide that most of them are kind of cheesy. He appears to be one of those male characters out of those silly romantic comedies that we balk at but secretly wish would mirror our own lives. You are so busy with stars in your eyes, you don't see the crazy idiot hiding inside this guy. Before you know it, your phone has text message overload from this seemingly normal person who apparently doesn't realize that you haven't responded to his last 10 messages because you are at work trying to make a living like every other person in the world. Forgive me, Mr. Crazy, if my world cannot revolve around you every second of every day. He turns into your typical stage 5 clinger and you realize that he is acting like most of the girls that your guy friends complain about. Mr. Crazy is the best wake up call ever to encourage you not to be "that girl."

Now, let's jump over to the opposite end of the spectrum and meet Mr. Lazy. Ladies find themselves drawn to Mr. Lazy because you always want what you can't have. Except he isn't playing hard to get as most of us perceive...he's just not that hard pressed to impress us at all. His aloofness is only more of a turn on because let's face it, women love a challenge. He is the guy whose life doesn't revolve around chasing women and this is attractive to us because most of the men who are chasing us turn into Mr. Crazy. Mr. Lazy is a good, decent guy and would be amazing boyfriend material if he wanted to put in the effort to have a girlfriend. Usually, these guys choose to stay away from relationships because they just don't want to put in the work. I can't say I blame them but surely they get tired of having to fend off the females who are getting all googly eyed over them. We chase the lazy ones and the crazy ones chase us. Go figure.

So, if you ask me what I consider boyfriend material, it's somewhere between crazy and lazy. I want attentive but not overbearing. Charming but not cheesy. I don't need a hundred text messages a day, but one or two to say you're thinking of me will make me smile. I don't need to be impressed with fancy gifts or dinner at expensive restaurants because being yourself and wanting to get to know me is impressive enough. Be genuine with your compliments and never tell me something just because you *think* I want to hear it. I want honesty and loyalty which really don't take that much work if you mean them. Oh, and a good kisser is a must no matter how crazy or lazy you are. ;)

-ldw