the ride

I have a good friend who is a musician and one of my favorite songs of his is called Backseat Driver. Awhile ago, he told me the story behind that song. But, as songs go, we end up finding our own meanings behind the songs that we like and can relate to. For him, the song was about a girl he was into that happened to be into his friend at the time. As the chorus says, "Backseat driver, backseat love, I will take you either way." For me, I related to this song from the start because I feel as if most of my past connections have been situations where I was the person doing all the feeling. Often times I have found myself feeling more for someone who just isn't on the same page. Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I have been content with it because I have never been one to hold back. I will risk the hurt if it means I am also risking to have feelings even if they won't be reciprocated. As I look back, this seems to be a very apparent pattern for my love life. Yet, I don't regret it. I will never be sorry for putting myself out there and feeling what a lot of people in life are scared to feel. I have loved and I have lost...more times than I'd like. BUT...I'm better for it in the long run.

It seems I have always been "burning both ends of the candle, yet I don't get no flame."  My hopes never reach their goal. I have never had the happy ending. My place has never been in the front seat. I have always been the girl in the back seat, watching while someone else drives away with my happy ending. However, for the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm sitting shotgun. Even in a situation that could take so many turns, I am the navigator of this journey. I feel like I am able to choose my path and that makes me so confident in this relationship. I am sitting shotgun and for once am not trying to figure out the destination. I am looking towards "the ride" and loving every minute. I'm not looking for the end because everything in between is what we will remember. Here's to the ride. We've got a lot of miles to go and I'm happy to be on this trip with him.