"...if they say nothing lasts forever, then what makes love the exception?"
Everything runs its course eventually. The idea that there is one person for us to be with forever is absurd to me. I think this idea has only led most of us searching for this "one" and finding ourselves completely bummed out when we haven't found them yet. Instead we are missing the significance of all our little loves while waiting for the big one. What if there is no big "one" for some of us? What if we aren't meant to find one person because we are meant to inspire and love many?
It has recently occurred to me that my own commitment issues stem from the very thought that I don't want to choose the wrong "one" and miss out on this so-called Mr. Right. So, instead of committing to the wrong choice and risking possible heartache, I have refused to choose at all. Or I just keep choosing all the wrong options because I know full well they are going nowhere. I have been playing it safe with my heart for a very long time now. I doubt I would even be able to give it away at this point after keeping it protected for so long. Over the years, I have somehow learned to compartmentalize my heart, keeping some people locked in there just in case. Others have a place there because the moments and time I shared with them are just too amazing to cast away as casual occurrences. What can I say? I am a true hopeless romantic. I romanticize the most about the people that I am least likely to end up with...the hopeless choices...the lost causes. I find myself more enamored with the ones I spent the least amount of time with, or more accurately with the ones who were never meant to stay.
Maybe I wasn't actually playing it safe, but playing the part I am meant to play. What if I'm one of those who never settles because I'm not meant to do that. I'm not meant to tie myself to one person because I'm supposed to be a muse of sorts. Over the course of my adult life, I have met many amazing men who I obviously did not settle down with. The majority of those men have found their happy ending with another, yet I know I was a helpful stepping stone to get them there. I realize some who read this won't agree, or will find it as a pessimistic way to look at things. I don't see it that way at all. The older I get, the more obvious it is to me that I'm not meant to settle. I don't think I could. Sure, I get lonely sometimes and think it would be nice to have a warm body to sleep beside each night. Then, I remind myself of those nights when I really like climbing into bed, stretching out, and not worrying about anybody stealing the covers.
So, in the span of forever, what DOES make love the exception? I guess I'll know when I find it. [Kudos to those who already have...you're what we like to call "the lucky ones"] Until I join your ranks, there are a lot of other things for me to discover and experience in life that should keep me busy. Although, this hopeless romantic does have one exception that has been on her mind lately...maybe because he never stole the covers.
["Hey Ya" by Outkast song lyrics quoted above.]
Friday, January 15, 2010
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Spiderwebs
According to National Geographic's website, "The Black Widow spiders are considered the most venomous spiders in North America" and can be found in several regions around the world. The Black Widow, also known as Latrodectus hesperus, is believed by most to be the most dangerous of her kind. A familiar region in which they inhabit is our very own town of Aiken, South Carolina. Growing up in the south, I had never actually had a personal experience with the southern Black Widow until recently getting caught in one's tangled web. In our region, these Black Widows are nicknamed "bitches" and these webs are usually spun with deceit, lies, and jealousy which makes for one sticky mess if you happen to get caught in it.
Once you are caught in her web, the Black Widow descends upon her prey to ingest her venom into you. This venom contains a pinch of envy, a drop of hatred, and a whole lot of doubt. Her bite is said to be 15 times stronger than that of a rattlesnake yet ironically her actions remain snakelike in nature. The venom from her bite affects the nervous system, according to Emedicinehealth.com. Many researchers claim these spiders are non-aggressive and only attack for self defense. I believe self preservation and cowardliness are strong motivators to the southern Black Widow. These researchers have obviously never done extensive study here regarding the treacherous species.
The Black Widows are nocturnal and prefer to be active at night. They say the Black Widow has distinctive marks to identify her by. The southern Black Widow can be recognized by her long blond hair, ice cold eyes, and affinity for menthol cigarettes. She can be quite charming upon your initial meeting which is perhaps how you ended up in this web to start with. She had you believing she was like all the other spiders...you know, the ones the researchers say only attack in self defense. Except you didn't attack her. So, why would she come after you? Because the southern Black Widows aren't like the other spiders. They are only concerned with their own survival. They don't realize that the large web they have spun will one day ensnare them. The tangled web they have weaved will be responsible for their own downfall.
A common misconception is that the bite of the Black Widow is always lethal. In reality, it can be fatal to small children or the elderly; however the rest of us can survive the bite without any lasting damage. We cannot however escape the initial damage caused by the Black Widow. Her venom isn't deadly to us but it still contains all the necessary ingredients to shake things up in our little worlds. The pain will go away but leaves confusion and doubt in its place.
The one who should be most afraid of the Black Widow is her mate. The Black Widow spider got her namesake from the very act of killing her counterpart after mating. A creature that has no remorse for destroying her partner is not to be taken lightly. So, careful before you allow the Black Widow to sink her fangs into you. Before you lose your heart to this little spider, be sure you aren't about to lose your head as well. The Black Widow spiders are known for being solitary creatures (except during mating season) and if she continues to spin webs of lies, her solitary status won't be voluntary.
Once you are caught in her web, the Black Widow descends upon her prey to ingest her venom into you. This venom contains a pinch of envy, a drop of hatred, and a whole lot of doubt. Her bite is said to be 15 times stronger than that of a rattlesnake yet ironically her actions remain snakelike in nature. The venom from her bite affects the nervous system, according to Emedicinehealth.com. Many researchers claim these spiders are non-aggressive and only attack for self defense. I believe self preservation and cowardliness are strong motivators to the southern Black Widow. These researchers have obviously never done extensive study here regarding the treacherous species.
The Black Widows are nocturnal and prefer to be active at night. They say the Black Widow has distinctive marks to identify her by. The southern Black Widow can be recognized by her long blond hair, ice cold eyes, and affinity for menthol cigarettes. She can be quite charming upon your initial meeting which is perhaps how you ended up in this web to start with. She had you believing she was like all the other spiders...you know, the ones the researchers say only attack in self defense. Except you didn't attack her. So, why would she come after you? Because the southern Black Widows aren't like the other spiders. They are only concerned with their own survival. They don't realize that the large web they have spun will one day ensnare them. The tangled web they have weaved will be responsible for their own downfall.
A common misconception is that the bite of the Black Widow is always lethal. In reality, it can be fatal to small children or the elderly; however the rest of us can survive the bite without any lasting damage. We cannot however escape the initial damage caused by the Black Widow. Her venom isn't deadly to us but it still contains all the necessary ingredients to shake things up in our little worlds. The pain will go away but leaves confusion and doubt in its place.
The one who should be most afraid of the Black Widow is her mate. The Black Widow spider got her namesake from the very act of killing her counterpart after mating. A creature that has no remorse for destroying her partner is not to be taken lightly. So, careful before you allow the Black Widow to sink her fangs into you. Before you lose your heart to this little spider, be sure you aren't about to lose your head as well. The Black Widow spiders are known for being solitary creatures (except during mating season) and if she continues to spin webs of lies, her solitary status won't be voluntary.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
The Chase
When I was a kid, I was always “it” when it came to games such as, “Duck Duck Goose” and other chasing games. I wasn’t very sporty and therefore wasn’t as fast as the other kids. It’s slightly annoying to find that as adults, a lot of us find ourselves still “it” when it comes to chasing in adult life. Of all the relationship vices, the one I would really like to tackle is learning to let others chase me instead of the other way around. I personally find satisfaction in doing the chasing but it never seems to work out to my advantage in the end. If real life were a game of “Duck Duck Goose,” I’m the one running in circles over and over because I can’t catch my target.
More often than not, we find ourselves playing a game of "Hide and Seek" with the significant (and not-so-significant) others in our lives. It's like we're on the playground having a great time together, then by the time you count to 100 they have run away from you. While I'm pretty good at guessing hiding spots, who really has the time for that these days? You know they will always end up back at "base" but how did they manage to slip right past you while you were searching for them? How do we determine where "base" is in real life? Is there ever really a safe place to run to in order to ensure you won't be "it" in the next round of the game? Perhaps some of us are both seekers and hiders. Do we keep seeking because we are trying to hide our true feelings or desires? Is the chase a distraction to ourselves to avoid who or what we really want?
Maybe we tolerate these games because we are afraid of not playing games. At least as long as I'm "it," I know my task at hand. If I weren't "it," I would be hiding all the time or sitting in the circle nervous with unknowing if I was about to be chosen to be the "goose." If relationships are such a toss up anyway, why not just play them like "Blind Man's Bluff"? We could just leave it up to blind luck whether or not we picked the target we were really after. I'm pretty sure that's actually how it works anyway in the game of love.
I suppose ever so often though, our target does slow up & gets caught on purpose. Maybe they just made us play these games to see if we were worth chasing in return. After all, in these adult chasing games, it is generally considered a good thing to get caught. Unlike when we were children, it is very much in our control whether we allow ourselves to get caught or not. So, I say if you're afraid to get caught then maybe that is exactly what needs to happen. I say, it's time to play for keeps. So, who's "it" this time?
More often than not, we find ourselves playing a game of "Hide and Seek" with the significant (and not-so-significant) others in our lives. It's like we're on the playground having a great time together, then by the time you count to 100 they have run away from you. While I'm pretty good at guessing hiding spots, who really has the time for that these days? You know they will always end up back at "base" but how did they manage to slip right past you while you were searching for them? How do we determine where "base" is in real life? Is there ever really a safe place to run to in order to ensure you won't be "it" in the next round of the game? Perhaps some of us are both seekers and hiders. Do we keep seeking because we are trying to hide our true feelings or desires? Is the chase a distraction to ourselves to avoid who or what we really want?
Maybe we tolerate these games because we are afraid of not playing games. At least as long as I'm "it," I know my task at hand. If I weren't "it," I would be hiding all the time or sitting in the circle nervous with unknowing if I was about to be chosen to be the "goose." If relationships are such a toss up anyway, why not just play them like "Blind Man's Bluff"? We could just leave it up to blind luck whether or not we picked the target we were really after. I'm pretty sure that's actually how it works anyway in the game of love.
I suppose ever so often though, our target does slow up & gets caught on purpose. Maybe they just made us play these games to see if we were worth chasing in return. After all, in these adult chasing games, it is generally considered a good thing to get caught. Unlike when we were children, it is very much in our control whether we allow ourselves to get caught or not. So, I say if you're afraid to get caught then maybe that is exactly what needs to happen. I say, it's time to play for keeps. So, who's "it" this time?
Photo courtesy of Photobucket.com
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Pieces of Me
Have you ever worked a jigsaw puzzle? Scattered the pieces all over the table with the puzzle box propped up to show you the goal you were working towards? You start on the border and work your way in, picking through each piece to see if it fits. Each piece brings you closer to completion, but it isn’t the last piece that excites you the most. It’s the one before that. Remember the piece you kept picking up and never being able to find a place for? Well, it ends up being the piece that helps you place that final piece. I’ve never been anyone’s final piece, or missing piece for that matter. I do have a bit of experience with being that piece that seems to make the entire puzzle make sense. Of course, nobody ever seems to give that piece any credit.
I have a knack for drawing men to me when their puzzle is a mess. So, I find myself attracting many a man that ends up finding someone else to complete their puzzle. Then again, I probably need to get my own puzzle sorted out before worrying about someone else’s. Or perhaps it’s time to let someone else try to help with MY puzzle! I’ve known many males who were interested in pieces of me but none that seem to want the whole thing. Which pieces keep driving them away? Which pieces aren't strong enough to keep them?
Does the intelligent piece that doesn't fall for the usual tricks intimidate them? Or is it the easy going piece that would rather have fun than argue, fuss, & fight? Maybe it's the independent piece that isn't needy enough. Or that cautious piece that protects my heart & is afraid to show too much emotion. It could be the hardened piece that doesn't break when things gets tough. Or the softened piece that will open up and be sweet with the assistance of a little whiskey. Then again, maybe the pieces aren't the problem at all. I'm just waiting for someone to come along to solve my puzzle. I guess until then I'm just that puzzle piece that got knocked off the table & lost...does that make me someone's missing piece?
I have a knack for drawing men to me when their puzzle is a mess. So, I find myself attracting many a man that ends up finding someone else to complete their puzzle. Then again, I probably need to get my own puzzle sorted out before worrying about someone else’s. Or perhaps it’s time to let someone else try to help with MY puzzle! I’ve known many males who were interested in pieces of me but none that seem to want the whole thing. Which pieces keep driving them away? Which pieces aren't strong enough to keep them?
Does the intelligent piece that doesn't fall for the usual tricks intimidate them? Or is it the easy going piece that would rather have fun than argue, fuss, & fight? Maybe it's the independent piece that isn't needy enough. Or that cautious piece that protects my heart & is afraid to show too much emotion. It could be the hardened piece that doesn't break when things gets tough. Or the softened piece that will open up and be sweet with the assistance of a little whiskey. Then again, maybe the pieces aren't the problem at all. I'm just waiting for someone to come along to solve my puzzle. I guess until then I'm just that puzzle piece that got knocked off the table & lost...does that make me someone's missing piece?
Photo courtesy of Photobucket.com
Coward Road
If there is one thing I know as a woman, it is when a man looks at me and wishes I was someone else. The longing in his eyes hides just beneath the surface and at first, it's hard to realize. A woman hopes the longing is for her but her intuition tells her otherwise. She will talk herself out of the reality for awhile until it isn't just in his eyes. It becomes a coolness in his touch. Hands that used to bring warmth & excitement have become unfeeling. His hands that once radiated heat for his woman now give her the chills yet they provide no passion. It isn't just the eyes or the hands though. It's a kiss that doesn't hold a spark. A kiss by the book, but not from his heart. His lips pretend they are touching another but as soon as his eyes open, you feel the distance widen instantly. You are inches apart yet he is miles away from you inside.
A woman knows when it isn't her that you want. A woman knows when there is another whose companionship you desire. A woman knows when her bed doesn't satisfy your needs anymore. Don't take us for fools because we already know everything there is to know. We are just trying to talk ourselves out of the rejection that is inevitable. We don't want to be traded in or turned away. We don't want to feel inadequate. We don't want to let go of what we want even if they want someone else. It is selfish of both the man and the woman to carry on this charade. But what is a little bit of selfishness compared to deceit and dishonesty? If neither is being honest about what's going on, does it really matter that they clearly have a lack of respect for each other & their relationship if they can't face facts that they aren't meant to be together.
There are few other things more hurtful to a human being that filling a space because someone's desired partner is not theirs [for whatever reason.] I think it is cowardness that stops a man from letting a woman know that his heart is with another just because he wants to warm his bed to help him make it through the night without the woman he really wants.
I myself am guilty of this treason yet never realized the fault until I was the unwanted looking into the eyes of a man who looked right through me because I wasn't "her." So, for the men who want to use me as a substitute for the woman you really want, there is a road you can head to before the road that leads into my neighborhood. It's called Coward Road [true story] and it may have been created just for you.
A woman knows when it isn't her that you want. A woman knows when there is another whose companionship you desire. A woman knows when her bed doesn't satisfy your needs anymore. Don't take us for fools because we already know everything there is to know. We are just trying to talk ourselves out of the rejection that is inevitable. We don't want to be traded in or turned away. We don't want to feel inadequate. We don't want to let go of what we want even if they want someone else. It is selfish of both the man and the woman to carry on this charade. But what is a little bit of selfishness compared to deceit and dishonesty? If neither is being honest about what's going on, does it really matter that they clearly have a lack of respect for each other & their relationship if they can't face facts that they aren't meant to be together.
There are few other things more hurtful to a human being that filling a space because someone's desired partner is not theirs [for whatever reason.] I think it is cowardness that stops a man from letting a woman know that his heart is with another just because he wants to warm his bed to help him make it through the night without the woman he really wants.
I myself am guilty of this treason yet never realized the fault until I was the unwanted looking into the eyes of a man who looked right through me because I wasn't "her." So, for the men who want to use me as a substitute for the woman you really want, there is a road you can head to before the road that leads into my neighborhood. It's called Coward Road [true story] and it may have been created just for you.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
i gave my heart to rock 'n' roll
"...it seems that love no longer can turn me on..." [from "Rock & Roll" by The Sounds]
I take a random song I downloaded after hearing it on some movie and I realize that it is EXACTLY how I feel about my "love life" right now. I don't believe in falling in love right now. Maybe I have too many other areas of life to worry about, but love just doesn't fit into my schedule. Some might say that it is depressing but I honestly cannot bring myself to feel that way about it. One of the next lines of that song is, "I gave my heart to rock 'n' roll." That got me to thinking that honestly I've been more emotional about music in my life than I have about most people in my life. I live vicariously through music. I fall asleep to it. I smile to it. I cry to it. I breathe to it. I, one hundred percent, LOVE it. I am in love with music...more than I've ever been with any man.
I don't cry in front of anyone, but play "How To Disappear Completely" by Radiohead after I've had a bad day and I will cry like a small child who just dropped their brand new ice cream cone on the sidewalk. I rarely melt from romantic gestures but I will melt when I hear "Secret" by Maroon 5 played in an acoustic set in a dimly lit bar. I don't think about my first love every second of the day but play "Please Remember Me" by Tim McGraw and every memory of us will rush back like it was yesterday. I don't get giddy & "twitterpatted" over any man but if I hear "Sparks" by Coldplay, the butterflies are immediate.
Music has this wonderful gift of making us remember exactly how we felt during some of our greatest and most devastating moments. So, while some people are living these things with others...I am choosing to live them through lyrics and melodies. I love that hearing a song can instantly take me back to a time and place that made me smile, or in some cases cut me to the core. Those times that cut me to the core no longer scare me when I remember them because I've learned those lessons & I'm better for it.
So, while some may dismay at their lack of love and companionship in their lives, I know that comfort is easily found on my radio. It's found by turning on my iPod and putting on my favorite playlist that holds all the comfort I need. While my bed is empty, my soul is content while those soft melodies of "Glorybox" by Portishead calm me. I cuddle up with Dave Matthews sweetly singing a cover of my favorite song of all time "Wild Horses" and fall soundly to sleep while John Mayer is "Covered in Rain."
I wake up to the Beatles letting me know "Here Comes the Sun" and Bob Marley telling me that "Every little thing is gonna be alright..." And I remind myself of my favorite movie line from Almost Famous: "I always tell the girls, never take it seriously. If you never take it seriously, you'll never get hurt. If you never get hurt, you'll always have fun...and when you get lonely, go to the record store and visit your friends."
I've given my heart to rock 'n' roll.
I take a random song I downloaded after hearing it on some movie and I realize that it is EXACTLY how I feel about my "love life" right now. I don't believe in falling in love right now. Maybe I have too many other areas of life to worry about, but love just doesn't fit into my schedule. Some might say that it is depressing but I honestly cannot bring myself to feel that way about it. One of the next lines of that song is, "I gave my heart to rock 'n' roll." That got me to thinking that honestly I've been more emotional about music in my life than I have about most people in my life. I live vicariously through music. I fall asleep to it. I smile to it. I cry to it. I breathe to it. I, one hundred percent, LOVE it. I am in love with music...more than I've ever been with any man.
I don't cry in front of anyone, but play "How To Disappear Completely" by Radiohead after I've had a bad day and I will cry like a small child who just dropped their brand new ice cream cone on the sidewalk. I rarely melt from romantic gestures but I will melt when I hear "Secret" by Maroon 5 played in an acoustic set in a dimly lit bar. I don't think about my first love every second of the day but play "Please Remember Me" by Tim McGraw and every memory of us will rush back like it was yesterday. I don't get giddy & "twitterpatted" over any man but if I hear "Sparks" by Coldplay, the butterflies are immediate.
Music has this wonderful gift of making us remember exactly how we felt during some of our greatest and most devastating moments. So, while some people are living these things with others...I am choosing to live them through lyrics and melodies. I love that hearing a song can instantly take me back to a time and place that made me smile, or in some cases cut me to the core. Those times that cut me to the core no longer scare me when I remember them because I've learned those lessons & I'm better for it.
So, while some may dismay at their lack of love and companionship in their lives, I know that comfort is easily found on my radio. It's found by turning on my iPod and putting on my favorite playlist that holds all the comfort I need. While my bed is empty, my soul is content while those soft melodies of "Glorybox" by Portishead calm me. I cuddle up with Dave Matthews sweetly singing a cover of my favorite song of all time "Wild Horses" and fall soundly to sleep while John Mayer is "Covered in Rain."
I wake up to the Beatles letting me know "Here Comes the Sun" and Bob Marley telling me that "Every little thing is gonna be alright..." And I remind myself of my favorite movie line from Almost Famous: "I always tell the girls, never take it seriously. If you never take it seriously, you'll never get hurt. If you never get hurt, you'll always have fun...and when you get lonely, go to the record store and visit your friends."
I've given my heart to rock 'n' roll.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
The Right Kind of Wrong
He's cunning, isn't he? The typical Alpha male that you see out charming all the ladies. You know the guy I'm talking about. He can be seen chatting up some pretty little thing and at the end of the night, he'll be walking out the door with some pretty little thing. You know his story. You know how he operates. He's certainly been a topic of conversation in the ladies' room a time or two. So, what is a girl to do when he swaggers up to you. He leans in close and whispers something a bit more sultry than sweet nothings. He's good at what he does and furthermore, he is completely honest with the ladies about his intentions, or lack thereof. Some are too naive to see what he's really about and the other half don't care after a few fruity cocktails and shots, courtesy of our Alpha male. But you...you're smarter than the average bear and you think to yourself, "He won't get the best of me. I know better."
Yet, here you are at last call and he's throwing you that devil smile with a suggestive eyebrow raise. To say you falter would be unfair since you know full well what you're getting yourself into. Society's double standard isn't going to apply to you tonight. Temptation just feels too good sometimes. So, you give in. It goes without saying that a man with that much experience will not disappoint. A man who says all the right things even when your brain is telling you he's all wrong for you. Maybe for tonight though, he's the right kind of wrong. As long as you're aware of the fact that the Alpha male is not Prince Charming. He isn't planning a future with you. He's already thinking about how to snag the other pretty little things he saw at the bar that he could've got with if you had said no.
The Alpha male while entertaining at times is probably the simplest of the male species to figure out. Remember that dog you had when you were a kid that would chase birds/insects/whatever in the yard but when he caught it, he didn't want it anymore. This is the M.O. of the Alpha male. My, my how he loves the excitement of chasing his female prey but after catching them he takes a last sniff & moves onto the next chase. Beware when the Alpha male starts to paw you...he has big plans for you. Yet, they don't involve a fairy tale.
In the case of the Alpha male ladies, forewarned is forearmed. Regardless of if you choose to give in or count yourself out, at least you can make an informed decision now. While he shares the same qualities as a dog chasing his prey, he was given enough brains not to hump your leg in public. So, he's not a complete loss to the human race nor as a companion for the night.
The next time you see him, he'll of course be surrounded by a circle of girls, twirling their hair between their fingers & giggling at his jokes. As you are closing out your tab at one bar, he'll walk up of course. He will say something sly to you like, "I'll bump into you later." Insert devil smile here. You return his grin and reply, "Oh, I'm sure you will.", You play his little game despite the fact that you've already decided you are going home alone. You don't need his empty comfort tonight. While the Alpha male is so used to using women, it has never occurred to him that we also use him right back. And there's nothing wrong with that.
Yet, here you are at last call and he's throwing you that devil smile with a suggestive eyebrow raise. To say you falter would be unfair since you know full well what you're getting yourself into. Society's double standard isn't going to apply to you tonight. Temptation just feels too good sometimes. So, you give in. It goes without saying that a man with that much experience will not disappoint. A man who says all the right things even when your brain is telling you he's all wrong for you. Maybe for tonight though, he's the right kind of wrong. As long as you're aware of the fact that the Alpha male is not Prince Charming. He isn't planning a future with you. He's already thinking about how to snag the other pretty little things he saw at the bar that he could've got with if you had said no.
The Alpha male while entertaining at times is probably the simplest of the male species to figure out. Remember that dog you had when you were a kid that would chase birds/insects/whatever in the yard but when he caught it, he didn't want it anymore. This is the M.O. of the Alpha male. My, my how he loves the excitement of chasing his female prey but after catching them he takes a last sniff & moves onto the next chase. Beware when the Alpha male starts to paw you...he has big plans for you. Yet, they don't involve a fairy tale.
In the case of the Alpha male ladies, forewarned is forearmed. Regardless of if you choose to give in or count yourself out, at least you can make an informed decision now. While he shares the same qualities as a dog chasing his prey, he was given enough brains not to hump your leg in public. So, he's not a complete loss to the human race nor as a companion for the night.
The next time you see him, he'll of course be surrounded by a circle of girls, twirling their hair between their fingers & giggling at his jokes. As you are closing out your tab at one bar, he'll walk up of course. He will say something sly to you like, "I'll bump into you later." Insert devil smile here. You return his grin and reply, "Oh, I'm sure you will.", You play his little game despite the fact that you've already decided you are going home alone. You don't need his empty comfort tonight. While the Alpha male is so used to using women, it has never occurred to him that we also use him right back. And there's nothing wrong with that.
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